There are many leaders today that want to move beyond just making a profit to really making a difference.  They want to be successful and that’s great but they also want the significance that only comes from adding value to other people.

When leadership is approached from a Christian perspective a new model starts to develop where the leader becomes more of a shepherd to their people than a boss to their employees.  They do care about performance and productivity but they also feel responsible for developing alignment around core values and creating the right culture for work-life balance for their people.

They also see life beyond the immediate pressures of planning, project management, staffing, goal setting and execution.  The legacy they want to create for their life and organization includes eternal metrics that must be included when talking about the ultimate bottom line.

The clear plan for every Christian is to use your professional life as a platform for ministry because we are all in full time Christian service.  Our lives should no longer be seen as segmented into faith, family, friends, recreation and entertainment but become totally integrated into being one life on mission for God.  The various roles that we fulfill are no longer competing with each other but complimenting the calling God has for our lives.

In the end there is only one performance review that really matters.  The evaluation criteria is simple, How faithful were you with all that I entrusted to your care?  Thinking about that moment should overwhelm us with gratitude and give us a renewed sense of passion to hear well done my good and faithful servant.

There have been a lot of great marriage books written over the last twenty years.  The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb is probably the best based on how our individual needs for security and significance impact our relationship with our spouse.

Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is extremely good from the standpoint of giving a simple foundational framework for the major role that each partner needs to play in the marriage.  Then the book gives lots of practical applications and illustrations on how to live this out in real world.

He writes that the husband should love his wife by:

1.      Closeness—she wants you to be close

2.      Openness—she wants you to open up to her

3.      Understanding—don’t try to fix her; just listen

4.      Peacemaking—she wants you to say, “I’m Sorry”

5.      Loyalty—she needs to know you’re committed

6.      Esteem—she wants you to honor and cherish her

The wife should respect her husband by:

1.      Conquest—appreciate his desire to work and achieve

2.      Hierarchy—appreciate his desire to protect and provide

3.      Authority—appreciate his desire to serve and to lead

4.      Insight—appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel

5.      Relationship—appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship

6.      Sexuality—appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy

One of the very helpful points that he continues to make throughout the book is just because our needs make us so different that does not make either of us wrong.  When we assume the best about our spouse’s motives then we can give them the benefit of the doubt when they fall short of giving us what we want and need.

In a day when markets and shareholders demand short term rewards for their financial investment it is extremely difficult for leaders to have the courage to lead with the long term as a priority.  The temptation to make easy decisions that will make the leaders bottom line look good today are setting up good companies for failure down the road.

This mentality usually results in a strong almost dictatorial leadership style that builds the business around the charisma and determination of the celebrity type leader.  There is very little delegation and certainly no succession planning taking place because that does not serve the crisis of the moment mentality.

The real test of any leader’s success must not be simply measured by the timeframe when they are working but by what happens to the organization when they leave.  If everything seems to fall apart and all positive momentum is lost then you cannot believe the leader set the team up for future success.

John Maxwell makes the point when he writes, “Achievement comes to someone when he is able to do great things for himself.  Success comes when he empowers followers to do great things with him.  Significance comes when he develops leaders to do great things for him.  But a legacy is created only when a person puts his organization into a position to do great things without him.”

When we value the success of others over the long haul over any short term success we may have for ourselves then we are leading with integrity.  Anything less than that is nothing more than selfish ambition and that is not true leadership.

All of us know the price we pay when we find ourselves working with the wrong people in the wrong place.  In all the research Jim Collins has done he has come to the conviction that what we do in our work in not as important as who we do it with. 

This does not mean that what we do is not extremely important because it needs to be a good fit with our skills and our passion.  I found the following list put together by Jack Welch in Winning to be a great framework to help answer the question about the right fit:

1.       People—You like the people a lot and you can relate to them, and you genuinely enjoy their company.  In fact, they even think and act like you do.

2.      Opportunity—The job gives you the opportunity to grow as a person and a professional, and you get the feeling you will learn things there that you did not know you needed to learn.

3.      Options—The job gives you a credential you can take with you, and is in a business and industry with a future.

4.      Ownership—You are taking the job for yourself, or you know whom you are taking it for, and feel at peace with the bargain.

5.      Work Content—The “stuff” of the job turns your crank—you love the work, it feels fun and meaningful to you, and even touches something primal in your soul.

Every job has its own set of fundamentals planning, projects, meetings, goals and execution.  However, there is a big difference between just making a profit and really making a difference.  The Why and the Who are more important than the What and the How.  Please do not forget its ultimately more about the journey than it is about the destination.

We are reminded in scripture that we brought nothing into this world and it is certain that we can take nothing out when we leave therefore having food and clothing we should be content.  This does not mean we should all take a vow of poverty and live in a monastery. 

We have all been given gifts and talents and we should with passion and excellence use them to the best of our ability to impact the world for good.  The point is that regardless of wealth or poverty we should learn to lead a life that is not driven by things that don’t really matter.

In Richard Swenson great book on Margin he list several characteristics of simple living that are helpful:

1.       Voluntary—If the simple life is forced, it ceases to be simple.  This is a choice based on core values not something that is demanded.

2.      Free—One of the key features of simplicity and at the same time, one of its principal advantages is that it is a life of freedom.  It is being controlled by that which is life-giving and refusing to be controlled by that which is destructive.

3.      Uncluttered—Emotionally we release our worries, we reconcile our relationships, we forgive our enemies and we begin anew each day.

4.      Creative—Life is not boring just because it is simple.  Simplicity sets the imagination free to work and to enjoy.

5.      Authentic—A simple lifestyle must distinguish between the spiritually authentic and spiritually inauthentic.  Biblical authenticity includes those things God has told us to focus on, those things that have eternal, God-assigned value: people, love, service, worship, prayer, self-denial, relationships, contentment, freedom, and rest.

6.      Disciplined—Restraint is necessary for successful living, and all the more for simple living.  Comfort is not a legitimate primary goal—authenticity is.

All Christians have made peace with God through their faith in Jesus Christ but all Christians do not live on a daily basis with the peace of God.  This kind of peace only comes as the fruit of a contented life.

This is the seventh in a series of ten posts on promises we should be willing to make to the people that matter the most in our lives.  A promise goes beyond a mere commitment to do something it carries the clear expectation that we are going to pay the price to do what we said we would do.

The first promise was I will sincerely listen to what you have to say.  Really listening to someone without a personal agenda communicates to them that they have value in your life and that you sincerely care.

The second promise was I will always tell you the truth.  Without this there can be no basis of trust, just ask Elizabeth Edwards how painful that can be.

The third promise is I will apologize when I am wrong.  When someone sincerely and genuinely apologizes we know two things.  They are willing to humble themselves and they want to restore their relationship with us because we still matter to them.

The forth promise is I will forgive you when you hurt me.  There can be no lasting peace in any relationship without the power of forgiveness.  This is even more critical when someone has come to us and sincerely apologized they are asking without saying it will you please forgive me.

The fifth promise is I will live with hope and believe the best.  Relationships are messy and there are always going to be times when people do or say things that upset us.  It is at that precise moment that we have a critical choice to make about how we process what we are hearing.  The bottom line is we will either choose to believe the best about the other person or we will assume the worst. 

The sixth promise is I will not manipulate change in you.  This deals with our core motivation when we interact with other people.  If our goal in sharing with this person is to only tell them what they are doing wrong and why they should be the one to change then we are manipulating. 

The seventh promise is I will always love you no matter what.  This lets the other person know that our love for them is not based on what they do or how they act but who they are as a person.

It in the truest sense it is unconditional love based on grace given and not performance earned.  This gives people the freedom to fail in their relationship with us without the fear of total rejection on our part because of some mistake they have made.

It is impossible to love someone in this way unless you have first received this kind of love yourself.  Once you have experience God’s love you have the capacity to pass it own to others.  You cannot give to someone else what you have not first received yourself.

I was attending a conference many years ago and heard for the first time this life changing quote, “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.”  I made a commitment on that day to apply this principle in my life.

The people you meet part of this development applies to all of life.  There is great wisdom in finding people who know more than you do about your area of expertise or interest and asking them for a meeting so that you can learn all that you can from someone who has already been where you want to go.  Every year you should have a list of at least ten new individuals that are successful and willing to invest in your life.

Please do not limit this to your professional life because you can find people everywhere who are great spouses or parents or involved in church and community work.  Some of the greatest connections I have ever made were in the normal flow of life because I was always looking for someone who could teach me something.

In the area of reading I have found that for every ten books that I read on a particular subject I will find at least one that will permanently change my life for good.  These become the books that you read at least once a year just to remind yourself of all the truths that you need to make sure you are applying in your life.

One of the disciplines I have developed over the years is that I will write the power statements or great quotes on the inside flyleaf of every good book so that I can always go back for a quick review.  If you will set a goal of at least one new book a month to start you will be amazed by how much your life will change because as you read your capacity to understand and develop new skills will be exponentially multiplied.

I am sure if this quote were made today it would include some reference to the incredible amount of information on the web.  Today you can read blogs and watch videos by some of the greatest communicators on life’s most challenging subjects whenever you want and usually without any cost but your time.

All learning that enhances personal development is an investment in your future that will give you an incredible return on your investment.

Most of us are over scheduled and have way too much stress in our lives.  As a reaction to the pressure of the present we often find ourselves looking back and longing for a time when life was simpler and slower than it is today.

What we selectively seem to forget is that the past had its own set of problems and even though things may have been slower that does not mean they were better.  When we live in the past we also are blinded to the blessings of the present and are not able to enjoy what we have that is good in our lives.

In Richard Swenson’s book entitled Margin he deals with this romantic mentality of turning back the clock to a better time.  He writes, “The analogy of a clock is not helpful.  It is not the question of a clock, but a compass.  The issue is not chronology, but direction.”

It is impossible to create more time in any given day.  With that reality clearly in mind then we are only left with two options.  We must know what is important each and every day and make sure those are the things that get done.

What is not so clear is that this does not mean adding these important things to an already full calendar.  The ability to know what to say no to on a moment by moment basis is the only way we will have the emotional, spiritual and physical margin we need to live today without regrets.

Clocks can only tell you what time it is while your personal compass can tell you what to do with your time.  Big Difference!!!!!!!

We all understand that light is used in the Bible as a picture of truth, wisdom and understanding.  It is important to daily walk in the light and not in the darkness which represents confusion, deception and lies.

Many times in our life we find ourselves in a position of asking God for specific light or guidance in a major life decision.  We sincerely want His will and we completely trust His plans for our life.  The hard part is when the light does not come and we find ourselves sitting in the darkness of not knowing what to do.

The great danger in waiting on God is that many times we will try to light our own fire because we so desperately want to move forward.  We can justify this because the path we have chosen to walk is a good one and surely this is something God will bless.  When we do this the scripture says that eventually all our manmade fires will go out and we will be in a far darker place than where we began.

The darkness that comes from lighting our own fire is the result of not being patient and trusting God’s perfect timing.  The end result is feeling alone with fear and doubt as your constant companions.

The darkness that comes from waiting on God is the result of His wanting to reveal things to you about yourself that can only be found in a dark place.  Even though the future may not be clear the present is because you are finally aware that He was with you in the darkness all along. 

Waiting with Him is always better than walking ahead without Him.

We owe a great deal to several authors who have written excellent books on how to move from success as the primary goal in your life to real significance.  Probably the book Half Time by Bob Buford has made the most life changing impact with people who have worked very hard to be professionally successful in the corporate world only to find their personal life lacked real purpose and meaning.

Significance moves way beyond profits as a definition of success to people and how is my life adding value to others.  Success many times is simply about what do we get at the end of the day while significance is about what are we willing to give away to make a difference.

If you want to have an eternal impact on the people who are a part of your life you must move beyond significance to surrender.  When you live a total life of surrender your definition of success is totally determined by the One you are following.  This definition alone will give you true significance as He uses your life story to impact other people in ways that will permanently change them for their good.

This means that we must die to the world’s definitions of success as the accumulation of power, position and pleasure and conform our expectations to His perfect will for our lives.  This may include the ability to make a lot of money and have great positions of leadership responsibility.  It may also mean a life that is filled with suffering and difficulty that can be leveraged by God to even have a greater impact on other people as they see you daily walk in grace and peace.

A surrendered life is one that is lived in total partnership with God so that He can use us as He sees best to change the world one person at a time starting with us.  There can be no greater definition of success and significance in this life.